After watching another piece of depressing news last week, I decided to embark on a change of lifestyle.
No longer did I want to be part of our greedy, all consuming society.
From now on I wanted to live simply.
I pictured recycled trainers, homemade jeans and potatoes growing steadily in saucers under my bed.
There is a saying: when you make a decision the whole world conspires to make it happen.
This is not so if you live in London and you’re decision is not to spend any money.
My intentions were good.
I genuinely felt I didn’t need anything and that, at least, made me happy.
And then I received a reminder e-mail for a hen party
The theme was ‘Grease meets Moulin Rouge’.
I opened my wardrobe and found nothing inspiring.
“I’ll buy something from a charity shop,” I said, confidently.
I bought a top from a charity shop once.
I never wore it. A month later I gave it back to them in a bag of old clothes.
Some people love digging around in second hand shops.
Personally, I don’t like the musty smell.
Still, I thought I could change.
I headed to Camden on a mission to be resourceful and creative.
After an hour of digging through bargain baskets and rails of hideous corduroys, I’d had enough.
I’m not a patient shopper.
When I saw a whole stall dedicated to shiny leggings my heart soared.
I would look like Sandy after all!
I picked up an awful pair of leatherette leggings.
“Fifteen pounds,” the stall holder said.
It was more than I had in my account.
But I did have cash... and it was going to solve all my problems.
It wasn’t the best bartering I’d ever done.
I handed over the money.
It hit me as I walked away that I had seriously failed in my mission.
Not only had I not managed to buy something cheap, recycled or second hand, but I’d bought something that I’d probably only ever wear once.
I felt miserable as I ruminated on how my fifteen pounds could have fed half the planet.
Then I tried the leggings on.
They were deliciously dreadful.
I started to feel better.
There is a saying: You can’t do everything at once, but you can do something at once.
I decided that for today, that something would be to lighten up!