But just because it's free don't think it's going to be a cheap event! On the contrary, no expenses have been spared. In fact, this might just be the most glamorous and extravagant launch of the year... the decade even... THE CENTURY!
Can you tell I'm excited? Well, you would be too if you'd secured Buckingham Palace for your book launch!
Come in, come in, you're so very welcome! Tuck into the eLobster and a fiery e-cocktail and please buy a book on the way out!
Since I have the orienteering skills of a broken compass, I've opted for somewhere central and easy to locate! Buckingham Palace is also featured in the novel, so it seems a fitting venue. Don't worry, I know what you're thinking... but I assure you, you won't have to take your shoes off. Instead, you'll be given an option of getting brand new shoes of your choice on arrival OR some royal slippers.
2. THE BAND
Another wonderful thing about ebook launches, is that you're not limited by time! This 10 man Cuban band is coming back from the 70s just to play for us all. If you were concerned an event at the palace might be stuffy, I hope your fears have been alleviated! In my opinion, there's never enough dancing at book launches and it's time to rectify that!
3. THE DRINKS
There is an unlimited supply of some of the fanciest eCocktails in the world! There's also some unfancy ones if you're not into getting your face burnt off while drinking. You can drink as much as you like for free and you don't have to worry about getting a hangover! Oh, and obviously all the waiters are stunning.
4. THE FOOD
Only the best food for my guests! There is a mouthwatering variety of dishes and no chance of anyone leaving the launch hungry. What's incredible is that these eLobsters are even suitable for vegans! It's all very ethical and eco, and despite the sheer quantity of food and options available, there's absolutely no waste. What are you waiting for? Tuck in!
5. THE PARTY
Why do book launches finish so early? After working for years on a book, I don't want a sober little event that finishes at 9pm. Sod that, I say. My elaunch is a proper party which finishes when you're ready to go. There's a dance floor for the dancers, balconies for the smokers, libraries for the introverts, and a secret garden for the smooching guests who have just bumped into the person of their dreams! So let your hair down and have some fun!
Thank you so much for coming!
Please buy a copy of The Temp on your way out!
And below, film footage from the Launch!